it's been a while
It's been almost two months since my last entry. I have the urge to say that it's because I've been busy—but that's not the case. Truth is, I've been lazy. Inconsistent even. However, I do have valid excuses. I had a health scare in early July which took up most, if not all of my energy. I was worried for the entire month. I'm doing much better now. The new doctor I went to see recently put my worries to rest. I also had an unexpected experience with a friend I can't fully trust anymore.
July was some sort of existential month. I spent most of my time thinking about life, my habits, my health and my friendships.
I quickly realized that I needed to make some changes. The hard part is carrying out those changes. See, that's the thing with me. I KNOW I have to make changes, yet I delay in doing so. So much so, that I always need a little push from life to spring me into action. I really don't know why I always let it get that far. I procrastinate for as long as I can, until life intervenes. It's as if life says, "you're not doing anything about your situation. I guess I am going to have to throw something your way. Shake things up a little to wake you up!" That's how it's always been, for as long as I can remember.
I really do want to end the long stretches of absence. I really do want to be more consistent. Because if there's something I truly enjoy—it's sharing and expressing myself on this platform.